How To Claim The Divine Masculine, The Divine Feminine And Their Sacred Union Within Ourselves

We often think of the masculine and feminine as something that exists between men and women, as a fixed characteristic that represents them individually.

The fact is that both polarities exist within all of us, regardless of what our gender is.

We all know what it is to be strong, decisive and in control. This is the masculine aspect.

And we all know what it is to soften, feel, receive and let go. This is the feminine aspect.

They exist in varying degrees within all of us, sometimes in balance and sometimes skewed towards one in particular.

That is really where the trouble begins for us when we get stuck in one polarity.

We may become so used to handling everything ourselves that receiving help feels uncomfortable.

We may become so sensitive to everything around us that taking decisive action feels almost impossible.

We may want intimacy, but pull away when someone gets too close.

We may want independence, but feel rejected when someone gives us space.

We may say we want a strong partner, and then resist every attempt to lead us.

We may say we want someone who is emotionally open, and then feel strangely uncomfortable when they actually are.

And after a while, we start wondering why the same stories keep finding us.

Perhaps they aren’t simply finding us.

Perhaps we are still carrying the old story.

The Wisdom of the Nāḍīs

This is where the wisdom of the nāḍīs gives us something beautiful to contemplate.

The yogic tradition speaks of Iḍā and Piṅgalā, two channels flowing on either side of Suṣhumṇā. One is associated with the moon and represents the feminine polarity, the other with the sun and represents the masculine polarity.

You may think of them as two different ways of moving through life.

One leans towards feeling, receiving, cooling, withdrawing.

The other towards doing, directing, heating, moving forward.

Its not that they are negative or positive in terms of charges, they represent a spectrum.

We need both aspects to find a balance.

However, when our prāṇa predominantly tends to use one side, we will always experience the extremes of that polarity.

When the flow is overbearingly in pingala, there is tendency to gravitate towards too much doing, and we can become driven, controlling and unable to rest. We may dread not being actively distracted.

When the flow is predominantly through the Ida, we may experience a tidal wave of feelings and become oversensitive with no sense of emotional boundaries, and we can become overwhelmed, passive or unable to act.

They are both not the problem, however being trapped in either is the root of all our troubles.

And isn’t that what is happening to all of us?

We become very good at one way of being and lose touch with the other.

The Third Channel: Suṣhumṇā

And then there is the third channel known as the Suṣhumṇā – the central channel.

When the prāṇa enters Suṣhumṇā, the energy is no longer caught between the two opposing currents. This is when the Kuṇḍalinī is said to rise through the Suṣhumṇā, piercing the 6 chakras and moving towards the crown.

There is something deeply symbolic and beautiful about that image.

We don’t have to choose.

We don’t have to become harder or softer, more masculine or more feminine.

All we need to do is to become whole enough to hold both.

Strength without rigidity.

Softness without helplessness.

Action without force.

Surrender without losing ourselves.

Feeling that can move into action.

Action that remains connected to feeling.

Hieros Gamos — The Sacred Union

This is where Hieros Gamos – the Sacred Union becomes more than an idea.

It becomes an inner experience.

The masculine and feminine stop fighting for control and begin working together.

And when that begins to happen within us, something changes outside us too.

We stop looking for our father in every man, our mother in every woman, or our unfinished story in every relationship.

We become less interested in finding someone to complete us and more interested in discovering what within us still needs to come home.

Perhaps that is the real journey.

We dont need to move anywhere or do anything.

We just need to BECOME polarity to balance, from balance to centre, and from centre to union.

A Question To Sit With

And perhaps the question worth sitting with is very simple:

Where in our lives are we still trapped in one side of ourselves—and what would it take to let the other side in?

Connect with md if you want to go deeper and explore this science.

The Distinction